Interview with Pete Williams, Instagram model and 1B gold glove candidate

[ay42]

Williams winced slightly as he sat down at the Crown Royal lounge for our interview.
W: "Damned implants are still really sore"
He went on to explain that he had recently gotten some ass implants to give him a perkier derriere.
Me: "Isn't it written into your contract to not do any dangerous activities that may interfere with your performance on the field?"
W: "I had my lawyer look at the contract and it's a little fuzzy where it comes to cosmetic surgery, and honestly, I have got to make my fans happy.'
Me: "You mean Twins fans? "
W: "Nah, I've got a gaggle of ladies that are season ticket holders on the first row. At the Twins stadium, they're pretty damn close to me at 1st base and I can really hear them catcalling me all game. They're out there with their phone taking pics of me every time I bend over when the pitcher starts his delivery. It''s distracting, but I do appreciate their attention. "
Me: "So... they have been getting on you about your ... backside?"
W: "Well, I've been doing squats like you wouldn't believe and I think I've plateaued with my ability to get any more (he uses his hands to mime a shapely ass) "
Me: "That explains a lot, actually"
W: "You mean the boost it's given to my followers? One of them made an Insta account "Williams_ass" and it has 86,000 followers as of this morning ! I got 12 thousand more since getting the implants! "
Me: "Well, I was more referring to your lack of mobility on first base..."
W: "Ah yeah, man I can't really stretch right now, for fear of dislocating one of these suckers and having it end up halfway down my quads or something. Hell I can't even bend over to tie my shoes, I got one of the ballboys to do that for me. "
Me: "Your manager must be livid, your defensive metrics have been... uh... below average recently."
W: (smiling broadly) "Well, if you must know, I'm actually leading the 1B gold glove voting in the AL, so no, my management don't have a leg to stand on."
Me: (slack jawed - consults ipad showing -5 on his +/- chart, but then sees Williams atop the 1B gold glove nominees)
W: "Numbers don't tell the whole story, mate. Unless you're talking about these numbers " (makes the universal sign for cash -rubbing his thumb and forefingers)
Me: "You paid off the voting committee?"
W: "Dude, you crazy. This interview is over."
(W tries to get up from the armless chair, but apparently can't squeeze his glutes to get up - he puts his hands on the edge of the table for leverage and ends up tipping the table over, spilling our drinks onto his lap. Still stuck in his chair, he looks up at me and holds his arms out.)
W: "Yo, a little help?"

At the time of this writing, Williams was indeed in first place in 1B gold glove voting.

http://simdynasty.com/player.jsp?id=130 ... s=fielding

[klobas2]

that was one of the most unique posts I've ever read!

[glu24]

I can't believe the implant rumors were true

[ay42]

It's going to be several years of rebuilding, so I was bored and happened to notice William's unusual spot atop the gold glove rankings (given his poor defensive skills) so I thought I'd build a little detail around it...

[bygmester]

Thanks and please continue sharing!
-bygmester