Douchenozzle players for sale

[alanneff317]

I've put a whole bunch of my guys on trade list. No reasonable offer will be refused... Draft picks, young Major ready players, even high minor leaguers.

I'm gonna toot my own horn here for a minute and you all can beat my team up for it later.

I took this team over in 2016 and immediately fire sold it, dropping from 69 to 39 wins. It looked like mediocrity would continue for the hapless North siders in this league and dang were they mediocre. (which as a White Sox fan in real life, I am perfectly fine with, but this is my team damnit and it's a game).

Since that season, there were 8 straight seasons of increasing wins.
8 straight winning seasons from 2022-2029.
In the history of the team there had been 2 playoff appearances. I have added 6.
0 WS appearances in 66 years? 5 straight WS appearances with 2 WS victories.
2 CY Youngs, now stands at 6.
2 Firemen, now 6.
2 MVP, now 4.
30% of our team's All Star players in only 19% of our seasons.

That being said, I am now ending the golden age of the Douchenozzles... Feel free to make my pretentious and obnoxious fanbase howl in pain as you strip this team to its very base.

I also did something similar to another team I own and then haven't sniffed a good team with that squad since, so apparently my abilities all rely on taking over a team and building a good squad once... oh well. I'm looking to stick around with this league for quite a while. Thanks fellow managers.

[Minions]

I will with pleasure send you trade offers that will not only insult your intelligence, but make you question humanity

[alanneff317]

I will likewise, speak ill of you loudly in front of others and openly accuse you of terrible crimes while broadcasting wild conspiracy theories in your general direction.

[NoelDenuyst]

Looking at your lineup as I have, checking for possible trades, has made me curious. Would you mind giving us kind of a window into your player naming process?

[alanneff317]

There is a website called nameoftheyear.com and every year around the time of the NCAA men's basketball tourney they come out with their own 64 name tournament. All these names are accurate (as far as they can tell) and can be found in news clippings, stories, etc... Each year they have a tournament to pick the 'best' name and some of them are doozies... I realized about 6 months ago that since I had control over the names of my players I could use my favorites from this website as names. Since they've been doing it for more than 2 decades I have a LOT of names to pick from. The better I think the player will be, the better a name I will give to him. I have occasionally edited for gender, but generally try to keep them accurate. I figure it brings a little strangeness to this game and brings me a F ton of joy to see Petit-Fard, Lavodrama, Kernodle etc... I have another squad in another league I do the same to. Here are my stand outs there:

Andy Brandy Casagrande IV
Lukas Chalupa
Windy Swetman III
Baskerville Holmes
Bramble Klipple
Prince Nocandy
Sicnarf Loopstok
Christian Plentyhoops to name a few.

Like I said, all real names, just not baseball players, but I do like how odd and unique my player names are. Hope it brings a little bit of strange joy as well.

[NoelDenuyst]

That's excellent!